Women Must Fight Back Before It's Too Late

I think we've all heard that women are the weaker sex. And I'm sure there was a time when men and women alike actually believed that. But in today's society, women cannot think of themselves as the weaker sex if they want to overcome their fear and take control of their lives and their own safety.

Throughout time women have always been the victims of violence and sexual assault, not only in one country but all over the world. Obviously women are not the only victims of violence and assault, but they are, as a whole, the most abused and attacked. And it's long overdue for women to start fighting back.

Whatever you've learned, heard, read or witnessed that tries to convince you that women should be submissive, tolerant, weak and accepting of anything that comes their way, throw it out. Get rid of that mentality that may serve to get you hurt or even killed if you are ever attacked.

Women are strong and can be just as dangerous as their counterparts if need be. If you are ever attacked physically by someone intending to harm you, don't just struggle to get free and don't give in or do nothing. Fight back with every ounce of hard-wired survival instinct you can muster up. Explode at the first encounter, the first unwanted touch, the first moment of someone's arm encircling your neck. Don't wait to see what will happen next. You take the next action.

Every part of your body can be used as a weapon if you don't have any sort of physical weapon, or until you can reach for your pepper spray or stun gun. Use your hands to gouge eyes, karate chop the throat, scratch any open skin. Use your teeth to bite, your feet to stomp on the assailant's foot and kick him in the groin. Use your whole body as leverage behind every kick, punch or elbow blow. And with every blow, yell. Yelling allows that inner strength to come out with as much force as possible.

It's only natural to be somewhat fearful as a single woman out alone at night. But if you are mentally prepared to fight back if you are assaulted, you will be able to channel the adrenalin created by the shock of the initial attack into an explosion of power to overcome your assailant.

Fear of the unknown is the worst kind of fear. You never know where the threat or danger might come from. But by staying alert using all of your senses, you will be ready for any possible assault from any direction. Then, knowing you have the ability, the strength and the right to protect yourself, you can unleash the savage beast that men have tried for centuries to convince us doesn't exist. Take down the one who would take you down.

Don't become a victim. Turn your assailant into the victim, the hunted, the target of your anger, leaving no doubt as to who is really in control of the situation. Then get the heck out of there and call for help. Your goal is escape - by any means.

Fight back, women! Put these assailants where they belong - licking their wounds behind bars.

Selling Yourself on Forums

Because of the anonymous nature of the internet people are generally more skeptical when it comes to doing business online. Owing partly to famous internet scams sensationalized by the media and to bad personal experiences online, people are less likely to trust a party whom they've never met in person.

As an online marketer, you face the challenge of building trust and loyalty without the benefit of a physical handshake, a face-to-face meeting, or even a smile. To this end online forums can provide an excellent way to build meaningful relationships with people and attract new customers.

By joining a forum in your area of expertise, you gain access to a community that shares your interests as well as a pool of potential customers. There are countless forums dealing with just about any topic imaginable. The vast majority of forums do not charge you a fee to register or post messages. Many allow you to include with your posts self-promotional "signatures" that you can use to promote your business and link to your website.

A good way to locate a forum relevant to your line of business is to do a keyword search using one of the major search engines. Why a major search engine? A Google search for "website marketing forum," for example, will not only return dozens of relevant forums on website marketing, but will also give you an indication of how highly they are regarded by the search engine giant, as gauged by how high they rank for that key phrase. Forums that rank higher on the search engine result pages (SERPs) are the ones of which you'll want to become a member.

Forums allow you to share knowledge and gain reputation as an expert in your field. Offering concrete advices that are immediately useful to other people is an especially effective marketing technique. Once you've gained credibility in your field, you will be sought after for your professional expertise without your having to promote yourself.

Participating in forums is also an excellent way to humanize yourself and your business. When people deal with you, they'll know that they're dealing with a real person, not a nameless, faceless business entity. By staking your reputation online, you demonstrate that you are willing to accept some degree of accountability for your actions.

If you're a generally honest and agreeable person in the real life, there is no reason to hide behind a company name when conducting business online. The personal qualities that make you likable in the real world will also make you likable in cyberspace. Indeed, establishing meaningful relationships online is a lot like making friends in the real world. After all, on the other side of the terminal is a real person with real emotions just like you.

Another key to meaningful online relationships is to create an atmosphere of openness and transparency. Although you normally use a nickname to start and respond to posts in public forums, you should use your real name in private correspondences. It is good practice to begin your messages with a salutation, addressing them by their real name whenever possible. A little courtesy can go a long way in building loyalty and trust.

Apart from selling your personal qualities, you must have something of value to offer to people-- and at prices that are fair to everyone! On a venue where your personal reputation is not at stake, you can price a widget for any amount you want and hope someone will come along and buy it. When you do business on forums, however, you must be extra value-conscious when pricing your product or service. If you overprice your widget, you risk receiving flames from other members that could harm your reputation. This is why it's so important to research what other members are charging for a similar widget and to price yours competitively. Often you'll end up charging lower prices to members of your forum than to other customers with whom you have not developed as close a relationship for the same widget.

Building positive relationships is about making people feel important. Just as you want to feel good for having sold your product or service, people want to feel good for having bought it. This is why it is so important to promptly answer their questions and attend to their concerns. Listen to their inputs and incorporate their ideas into your business practices. This is how you make your customers a part of your team. It's not a stretch to speak of your customer as a member of your team. When you really think about it, no business can exist without its customers. Teamwork is not limited to interacting with other members of your company. It also takes teamwork to build a constructive, mutually beneficial relationship between you and your customers.

The More Connected We Get, the More Disconnected We Become

Although we know technology provides many benefits, we tend to rely on it too much for important interpersonal communication. It's a paradox. Technology helps us get in touch--and it prevents us from being in touch. It helps us save time--and makes us waste time. It helps us correspond--and it can prevent us from being understood.

As a consultant, I regularly see people struggling to be understood. Interpersonal conflicts are rampant, and listening seems to be a lost art. As people over-depend on technology, these communication challenges become more difficult. It's one thing to rely on email to keep in contact with people in another country, but it's quite a different thing to rely email to keep in contact with your coworker sitting in the cubicle next to you.

We often hear people say they spend over two hours a day reading and responding to email messages. And that's just the average email user; some people receive as many as 100-150 email messages a day. And, most of them require further clarification so still more email is sent and received. Surely some of those messages could have been communicated in person, thus minimizing the probability of communication breakdown.

Since over ninety percent of the impact of a message is non-verbal (eye-contact, gestures, posture, voice, etc.), that leaves only a 10 percent probability you will be truly understood when you use email. That's not enough.

Since people have a hard time expressing themselves, they may tend to manipulate, lie, or keep quiet rather than communicate directly. It's easier to lie while hiding behind a computer screen. It's easier to confront a computer than a person when dealing with conflict. It's easier to reject someone using email rather than looking them in the eye.

It often feels as though the more connected we get the more disconnected we become.

My friend Melissa told me she had a problem at work. Her coworker (who was also her friend) had been avoiding an important task that needed to be done before Melissa could complete the project they were doing. She asked the coworker several times to "please get the work done," but when nothing changed, Melissa got frustrated and went to her supervisor for help. She explained her situation and she expected he would confront the problem employee. Instead, his only advice was, "Put it in an email."

John, a software engineer who was employed for five years by a large wireless communication company, received a shocking email one Friday evening just before he was leaving work. "Dear John; Due to the recent merger, we are downsizing our software engineering department and your services will no longer be necessary...outplacement services will be available."

These stories illustrate what could be the beginning of a new management craze -- MBE (Management By Email), the over-reliance on email when other channels (methods) would be more appropriate. Complex and highly personal information, as illustrated above, is not well-suited for email. There's too much room for error, hurt feelings, guess-work and misunderstanding.

Choosing The Best Channel

Email is a wonderful channel for impersonal and simple information. It works well for organizing large groups of people to come together for a common cause. For example Jody Williams won the l997 Nobel Peace prize for her contribution to the international ban on land mines. She achieved that ban not only without much government help, but in the face of opposition from all the major powers. And what did she say was her secret weapon for organizing 1,000 different human rights and arms control groups on six continents? "Email." (Lexus & Olive Tree, p. 14) Howard Dean has mobilized millions to donate money to his campaign for the Democratic nomination for President in 2004 by using email. During the march to war in the spring of 2003, millions of people were contacted via email to make their feelings known to legislators and the like.

Email is also great for scheduling meetings or planning social events. I was preparing to facilitate an executive retreat and needed to get the agenda and a brief homework assignment to participants ahead of time. Additionally, I needed to get feedback so I could adequately prepare and address their issues. I chose email as the best channel. It allowed me to quickly send and receive simple, impersonal information in a way that streamlined the process so the retreat could be successful. I have also used email as a way to gather input when designing curriculum for corporate training programs.

For following-up, email is fabulous. I spoke at a convention recently and offered to email a bibliography to interested participants. Over 150 people dropped off their cards. In the "old days," I would have had to address and stamp 150 envelopes then stuff them with the three-page, photocopied bibliography. Now, it took just a few minutes to input the email addresses into a card file in my address book, attach the document and hit send. This was a fast, easy, and cost-effective way to follow-up with simple, impersonal information. Email was the best channel for this task.

On the flip side, I have heard numerous stories where email was the channel of choice and misunderstandings were the norm.

Think Before You Choose Channels If the message you are sending in anything but simple and impersonal, then email is not the best channel to use. A face-to-face interaction or a telephone conversation would be much better. It's time we started to get back in touch in this high tech world.

(c) Nancy Stern 2004

Utilizing Book Publishing to Expand Your Ministry

I talk with pastors, organization leaders, and speakers about how they can expand their ministry or organization by developing a line of books and they are simply amazed. When we think of growing or developing our organization many times we think of TV, radio, more programs, etc. but many people just don't think of expanding or developing their organization by publishing a book. This is one of the most powerful ways of growing as an organization for several reasons:

o For one, a book is the best to of learning for a visual learner. You can't expect that because you speak in person, on TV, or radio that the people that hear you are learning as much as you would hope they are. Some people are simply more visual than they are auditory so it's what you can show them that makes the difference. These people like charts, graphs, pictures, and written words. A well written and visually captivating book will speak volumes to these people. This is important to you because you want your audience to receive you well. The better your audience receives you, the more your words will reflect through their lives. They will also tell and recommend more people to your ministry.

o Also, a book is the most enduring method of communication. It's not through radio, satellite, TV, or seminar that history from the earliest times BC have been recorded and taught to us; but it's through the printed medium. Your written words stand throughout the ages. When you write a book, you not only write for today but for people 60 years and even 600 years from today. Consider the Holy Bible and other ancient records of history and how they have endured time and changed the hearts of men that we will never have met, us ourselves, as well as those we won't get the opportunity to meet.

o A book is a great way to begin, expand, or develop your ministry because it's less expensive than other mediums. It's less expensive and consumes far less time to publish a book than to launch a TV or even a radio program. However, if you do have one of these as your ministry, then publishing a book is a great way to further develop that which you have already established.

You should definitely do more research on book publishing as a great opportunity to begin, expand, or further develop your ministry, speaking career, or organization into an effective and prosperous one.

Mobile Phone Tracking - The Pros And Cons

Modern mobile phones come with many different features and apps, they fill a whole host of services and one of the most useful and adaptable of these is the built-in GPS navigation service. This allows you and others to pinpoint your location giving the exact coordinates and quite often your direction and speed.

There are a number of ways you can check the location of a mobile phone. One is to access the location via the internet, the mobile number is input into the system and the program sends out a signal to check the location. There are also various companies that allow customers to download programs that allow them to check on a mobile phone's position live online.

Like any system there are pros and cons to the use of mobile phone tracking and while modern technology can lead to peace of mind and increased safety, concerns can also be raised such as the misuse of mobile phone technology as the recent journalist outrages show.

Pros

These straightforward to use and easy to access tracking packages make it great for keeping an eye on kids and elderly relatives. You are able to see whether they are where they say or if they have gone off on some unexplained walkabout.

There are many mobile network providers and private companies that have simple programs that enable you to track your mobile. They make it easy for people to link up and find each other, for instance when they are in a strange city or on holiday.

Knowing where your phone always is means never having to lose it again. You will always be able to locate its position and not be pulling your hair out trying to remember the last place you saw it.

Cons

Look into a variety of providers to find the best deals and services available. Not all mobile phone tracking systems are cheap and some may not provide the kind of coverage or features you require.

You are not legally allowed to simply track anyone, they have to be informed first. So if you wanted to secretly follow your spouse or work colleagues you will find yourself in trouble if you proceed. The present scandal with journalists abusing phones shows just how easy it can be to hack into other peoples' phones to read messages or check on their whereabouts.

Current legislation only covers the country that the phone is registered in, so legally you cannot use mobile tracking if you are traveling abroad. You will need a contract for the particular country you are visiting.

Car Parts To Adorn The Dream Machine

A man buys his car with a lot of dreams related to it. There is a lot of passion and hard earned money that goes into the buying of such a dream machine. One may have so many choices and preferences when it comes to buying the perfect vehicle for themselves. There is so much more than just a car that a person buys. There are so many accessories that one can buy to make the vehicle look even more out of the world sexy and desirable.

A good music system with adequate speakers and the right sort of amplifiers is an absolute necessity for the car. It looks amazing and gives an awesome sound effect when there is a good piece of music playing in it. Another essential for the dream machine would be a good alloy. They are so attractive and enigmatic that they can change the entire look of the vehicle. They give more strength to the wheels and make it look rich and classy. Another great auto accessory would be a good caption on the back glass. This is again obviously optional. One may get something written according to their choices and preferences.

The caption one gets on the back of their automobile says a lot about their personality. There are a number of other accessories such as seat covers that one may choose in a variety of fabric, color and material according to their choice. This is also a unique way to increase the good looks of the vehicle. There are other accessories such as one can get filming done on the glasses of the car. This shall not only give a sense of privacy and make the car look like that of a VIP, but also protect one from harmful ultraviolet rays of the sun from entering the vehicle. There are a number of other useful parts and accessories that can be used for the purpose of safety and security of the vehicle such as keyless entry, auto locks, backup alarms, linear actuator and remote starters and so on.

There are also other exterior products that can increase the looks and the strength of the car. There are products like bumper guards, heated windshields, mud guards and grill brush guards. These can increase the life and strength of the vehicle. This is the reason most men like to invest in quality products. Even if they are slightly heavy on the pocket, they are for a longer period of time. They are a very sensible investment when it comes to safeguarding the vehicle from the harmful effects that might come as a result of the harsh weather and on road conditions.

It is interesting to note that a lot of men and women are getting increasingly inclined towards pampering their cars. In such a state of affairs, it is wise to invest in only good quality products and do a good amount of market research and survey before deciding to pick something.

How to Let Natural Sandstone Compliment Your Kitchen Design

Sandstone kitchen floors are created from a sedimentary rock that is composed of quartz and feldspar, sand-sized mineral and rock grains. Sandstone countertops are the product of sand and sediment having been squeezed together for millions of years and held together by a natural cement, such as silica. Natural sandstone is an extremely hard and tough material. Sandstone is the youngest of the quartz-based stones, with each stone having a different level of porosity, hardness and compressive strength.

This process has produced a natural beauty that is unrivaled. This is why sandstone kitchen countertops have become quite popular in recent years. Also sandstone is available in a variety of shades of colors. Some of the slabs feature fossils embedded in the surface. It is easy to understand why many homeowners and builders make the choice of sandstone kitchen countertops over more common choices like granite and marble.

Natural sandstone can compliment either traditional or modern designs where the unique combinations of colors and texture can produce an ageless as well as a contemporary feel. Because of their natural beauty, sandstone is used for interior as well as exterior decoration including flooring, paving, walls and floors. Sandstone is resistant to most acids and alkalis.

Sandstone is weather resistant and can be used for indoor and outdoor applications. The beauty and versatility of the sandstone finish lies in the texture or matte appearance of the stone. As with sand, sandstone can be almost any color. The most common colors of sandstone are tan, brown, yellow, red, gray, and white.

Some sandstone is resistant to weathering, yet they are relatively easy to work. This is what makes sandstone a common building and paving material.

Sandstone kitchen countertops are considered to be some of the most beautiful countertops available. Because of their rich texture, grain and colors they a breathtaking addition to any kitchen design. They can require a little more maintenance and diligence than other stone countertops, however the aesthetic value of sandstone kitchen countertops is tough to beat.

Sandstone kitchen countertops can have their drawbacks however, so you need to know how to take care of and maintain your sandstone countertops. Because sandstone is more porous that other natural stones it can be more likely to stain. Also the porous nature of the stone allows for more moisture absorption that can lead to more staining and discoloration. Regular protection and proper cleaning of your sandstone kitchen countertops can reduce and eliminate these problems. It is also recommended that sandstone kitchen countertops should be sealed after installation. Sealing can protect the surface and lasts a number of years.

The best protection for sandstone kitchen countertops is be cautious, and immediately wipe spills. You should careful at all times not to let any spills set. For cleaning use pH balanced cleaners and mild, untinted, unscented detergents. A very mild dishwashing liquid works very well on sandstone surfaces. Do not use any acidic cleaners, especially those with citrus additives, since they can etch into and over time break down the polished and sealed surface.

12 Critical Tips to Saving on Airport Parking

Off-site airport parking is a boon for travelers. Often they prove to be cheaper than parking lots run by airports and online discounts and other conveniences make the option even more attractive.

Satellite parking lots face competition and so it is easy for those in the know to save big.

Here are a few insights:

1. Keep a tab on offers. As the race for success becomes intense, all sites run attractive offers giving away coupons or web only deals. Many offer an e-coupon that entitles the user to a day's free parking at selected parking lots. This means a saving of US$ 18. Other offers give away a day if you park for two days or 50% off on the first days parking fee.

2. If you are a frequent user of parking lots check for offers where a parking operator with a major presence near airports you use offers a 50% discount if you purchase a certain number of parking vouchers online or on the phone using your credit card.

3. Many parking sites have a different rate for different parking positions. Check on the kinds of parking and rate differences. You could save up to $ 55 for a seven day parking.

4. Ask for rates depending on the length of stay. Rates vary so if you are going to need parking for a week then you could get a higher discount than the daily rate on offer.

5. Many run a frequent user program where repeat customers are offered many facilities. This is similar to frequent flier programs.

6. Find out if the lots you use offer special discounts to members of AARP, AAA, or other such organizations. In fact, AA members save between 10-20% on parking. Some sites even offer the service of picking up and dropping your car from the airport terminal.

7. Do your research well compare providers, the rates on offer, as well as facilities at the place you need to park. If you are clever you can get more for less.

8. Before you travel use the internet to check on daily and weekly parking offers. There are free days, discounted weekly rates, and guaranteed rates on offer at various times. You can avail the offer by making a booking online or printing out the page with a code and presenting it to the cashier at the parking lot. 9. Keep track of promotions especially during holiday seasons. Many lots accept coupons and give away discounts offered by consumer products

10. Often pre-booking parking can get you a saving of even 60% and more.

11. Hotels often offer parking specials, so make use of the extra facility being offered by the hotel you plan to stay in.

12. Some travel agents who book flight tickets offer advice or coupons for parking at the point of exit and entry. Ask you agent when you book your flight.

Off site parking is not just fast and convenient it can be a saving too.

The High Costs of Anger (Part 2)

'Dr. Fiore,' the voice on the phone pleaded, 'I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it's over until I get help.'

As Kevin recounted the first night of class, he and his girlfriend had argued in the car over which route to take home from a party. Events progressed from mild irritation, to yelling and name calling.

Things escalated at home. He tried to escape, but she followed him from room to room, demanding resolution of the conflict. He became angry, defensive and intimidating.

Frightened, she left. Later, she left an anguished message saying that she loved him, but couldn't deal with his angry, hurtful outbursts.

Kevin said that he normally is a very 'nice' and friendly person. But on this occasion, his girlfriend had been drinking before the party. In his view, she was irrational and non-stop in criticism. He tried to reason with her, but it just made things worse. Finally, as Kevin saw things, in desperation he 'lost it' and became enraged.

How should Kevin have handled this situation? What could he have done differently? What actions should you take in similar situations?

Option 1: Time out. Take a 20 minute time-out (but commit to returning later to work on the issue). Take a walk. Calm yourself down. Breathe deeply. Meditate. Do something else for awhile.

New research by John Gottman, Ph.D., at the University of Washington indicates that when you and your partner argue, your pulse rate goes above 100 beats per minute, and you enter a physiological state called DPA (diffuse physiological arousal). Once there, it becomes nearly impossible to solve the problem. You lose perspective. Your reasoning ability, memory and judgment greatly decline.

Taking a time-out allows both of you to return to your normal state of mind.

It is neither healthy nor necessary for you to explode as a result of being provoked by your partner. Our recommendation: Turn the heat down rather than intensify the pressure.

Option 2: Interact differently. Many couples like Kevin and his partner develop patterns of behavior that create miscommunication and conflict. Do you interact in one or more of these ways?

Inattention; simply ignoring your partner when you shouldn't. This is also called stonewalling or being emotionally unavailable when your partner needs you, or not speaking to your partner for long periods because you are upset with them. Intimidation; engaging in behavior intended to make your partner do things out of fear. This includes yelling, screaming, threatening and posturing in a threatening way. Manipulation; doing or saying things to influence your partner for your benefit instead of theirs. Hostility; using sarcasm, put-downs and antagonistic remarks. Extreme or prolonged hostility leads to contempt - a major predictor of divorce. Vengeance; the need to 'get even' with your partner for a grievance you have against them. Many dysfunctional couples 'keep score' and are constantly trying to 'pay back' each other for offenses.

Option 3: Positive interactions. Start by actually listening not only to what your partner says, but what he or she means. Partners in conflict are not listening to understand; rather, they listen with their answer running because they are defensive. Unfortunately, defensiveness is another predictor of divorce.

Stick to the issues at hand. Seems obvious but is very hard to do in the heat of battle. Focus and stay in the present. Learn to forgive. Research by Peter Larson, Ph.D., at the Smalley Research Center, suggests a huge relationship between marriage satisfaction and forgiveness. As much as one-third of marriage satisfaction is related to forgiveness! Communicate your feelings. Tell your partner how you feel about what they do, instead of accusing them of deliberately offensive behavior. Use 'I' statements rather than accusatory, or 'you' statements.